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Hello, my name's Dirty Dog. I know it's probably quite hard to believe, but back in the day,

I was quite a ladies' man. You know what? I couldn't walk down the street without some

gorgeous bit of stuff throwing itself at my feet or at my cock. But as you can see, my

unbridled life of debauchery has led me here, to this piss-stinking alleyway filled with

lowlife and scum.